When relationships break down, many parents understandably worry about the impact of separation on their children. Research on children and divorce conflict consistently shows that the focus should not be on whether separation occurs, but on how its consequences are managed. Under Australian family law, the guiding principle in s 60CC of the Family Law Act 1975 is that the best interests of the child are paramount. In practice, this requires more than preserving parental relationships; it demands a careful, child-focused approach that prioritises emotional safety, stability and the minimisation of conflict. Increasingly, legal and psychological research confirms that it is not separation itself that causes harm, but ongoing parental conflict and instability. Notwithstanding the huge emotions that are involved, all adults have a role to play in ensuring that coming to a resolution in a timely manner can help reduce the harm on all involved.
Beyond Attachment: Rethinking the Causes of Harm
Early scholarship from John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth emphasised the importance of attachment in shaping a child’s development. As noted in the literature, “attachment is a key aspect to determining personality and behaviour throughout an individual’s lifetime,” and may be defined as “the strong bond that develops first between parent and child.” This traditional framework led to the long-standing assumption that divorce, as a disruption of attachment, is inherently harmful to children. It is often suggested that children of divorce “have trouble adapting” and lack a reliable model for future relationships.
However, recent research has moved away from this deterministic view. The evidence is now widely recognised as “contradictory and somewhat inconclusive,” with scholars acknowledging that outcomes are “likely to be a combination of both influences.” Rather than attributing harm solely to separation, modern studies adopt a more nuanced, multifactorial approach.
What Really Matters: The Childs Environment, Not Marital Status
A consistent finding across more recent research is that children of divorce often “adapt… within normal ranges when compared to their peers.” This challenges the assumption that separation inevitably leads to poor outcomes.
Instead, attention has shifted to the broader environment in which children are raised. Researchers increasingly point to factors such as peer relationships, socioeconomic conditions, and parenting quality as key determinants of child wellbeing. Indeed, it has been observed that “parenting practices have a greater effect on children than marital status.”
This shift is critical from a legal perspective. While family law cannot control whether a relationship ends, it plays a central role in shaping the post-separation environment, particularly regarding parenting arrangements, stability, and conflict management.
Conflict, Not Divorce, a Primary Risk
Perhaps the most significant insight from the research is that conflict, not separation, is the primary driver of harm. As one study found, “children of highly conflicted families who are not divorced fare worse… than children with divorced parents.” This finding reframes the issue: remaining in a high-conflict household may be more damaging than separation itself. For family law practitioners, reducing hostility between parties matters more than focusing solely on preserving parental relationships.
Children may experience emotional responses such as “sadness, anger, insecurity, and lack of trust,” particularly in the short term. However, these effects are not necessarily permanent. Many children demonstrate resilience over time and “learn to accept the past and look towards their futures.”
The Legal Process
Importantly, the research also highlights that the legal process itself can contribute to harm. Prolonged litigation and adversarial disputes may intensify conflict and instability. As noted in commentary on the issue, attachment and emotional well-being “can be even more afflicted by court battles.”
This places a significant responsibility on family law practitioners. Lawyers are not merely passive participants in dispute resolution; they actively shape the conditions in which children adjust following separation. The manner in which disputes are conducted, whether through adversarial litigation or cooperative resolution, and the time it takes for parents to settle their family law matter can have lasting implications for a child’s wellbeing.
A Child-Focused Approach in Family Law Practice
The effects of divorce on children are determined not by separation itself, but by the surrounding legal and social conditions. Parental conflict and the quality of post-separation parenting matter more than the fact of divorce.
For practitioners, this reinforces the need to prioritise conflict reduction and promote stable, workable parenting arrangements. Minimising the emotional burden on children is not optional. It is required to give meaningful effect to the paramount principle under the Family Law Act 1975.
Divorce, in itself, does not define a child’s future. What matters is how separation is managed. By reducing conflict, supporting effective parenting, and promoting stability, family law practitioners play a crucial role in protecting children and fostering positive long-term outcomes. If the best interests of the child are truly paramount, conflict minimisation must remain central to family law practice. Despite the emotional complexity of separation, all adults involved have a responsibility to promote timely, constructive resolution. This is especially true for legal practitioners. Research on children and divorce conflict is clear: reducing conflict is central to minimising harm.
Jake McKinley notes that this article is written for the purpose of providing generalised information and not to provide specialised legal advice. If you require qualified legal advice on anything mentioned in this article, our experienced team of solicitors at Jake McKinley are here to help. Please get in touch with us on 02 9232 8033 today to make an enquiry.
Article Written by Nadine Livingston, Law Graduate
